Sit Here and Remember
by Writergirl107
Summary: Gerard and Frankie learn the joys and hardships of being young and in love  Frerard. Don't like? Don't care!


_I woke up shaking. Throwing the blankets off me I looked at my hands. And at my body. They were clean. No blood. It was just a nightmare. No it was more than a nightmare. It was too real. I was reliving the day you were shot. The day I had to say goodbye to you. Forever. In the dark of night I found myself reliving the time I had you in my life._

The rain poured down from the sky. Like someone had left the tap on, you once described it. The school corridors were filled with students dripping wet and you and I were like everyone else. Although unlike everyone else, we were fighting. Anger flushed your cheeks, making them bright red and I wanted nothing more than to reach out and stroke them. To move the black hair from your hazel eyes and lose myself in those shining orbs. But I didn't. I watch you slam your locker and turn away. I grabbed you and made you face me.  
>"We've been planning this since we were ten. What made you change your mind Frank?"<br>I couldn't answer you. I didn't know how to tell you. I hated your boyfriend. He was a prick who hated me. But you loved him and I couldn't change that and I couldn't change my feelings for you either. Instead of answering I just shook my head and watched you run off. I gave you the head start but I knew where you were going. I could read you like a book.

About a half hour later I stood in the cover of trees and watched you skim rocks on the lake. You didn't care that rain was soaking you. Then I heard it. A clap of thunder directly overhead. It was your one fear. You hated thunder. Hated it since you were five. I ran from the trees and grabbed your shaking body. You didn't fight, but held on tight. Almost like you were holding on for your life. You were shaking horribly. I saw the old lifeguard's cabin and led you to it. Once inside you loosened your hold on me but didn't let go fully.  
>"Why?" you asked. You pressed your forehead against mine and I couldn't pull away. I took in a deep breath and told you everything. Told you I hated Bert, that I couldn't be in the same room as him and my feelings for you. As I told you how I felt you pulled away and looked at me. You were silent for a moment and then I felt your lips press against mine. It was an urgent kiss. Like everything you were feeling was rushing to your lips and you had mere moments to tell me. You pulled away gasping and looked directly into my eyes.<br>"Bert and I broke up last week. I realised I was in love with someone else." I looked at you questioningly and you smiled at me.  
>"You silly. I'm in love with you."<p>

After that little conversation in the life guard's cabin we were inseparable. Your 16th which I had refused to go to only a week earlier went down spectacularly. It was christened the best party of the year and you and Mikey had begun to plan for another, bigger bash to celebrate the end of the year. Our relationship grew with the months and although we fought like there was no tomorrow, we always made up within minutes. One day out, while out at our spot on the lake we saw an old row boat. You declared it too old to be worthy of once again being a boat but came up with an excellent idea.  
>"Let's turn it into a bench and place it right here at the water's edge. And it can be our seat." I saw the light in your eyes, delighted at the prospect of having a project to do. An art project. You were always so artistic and loved to create.<p>

For weeks we worked out at the lake. Spending most of our weekends and almost all of our free time there. One day though, it became too much. I wanted to take a break and catch a movie and go bowling with the guys but you wanted to continue with the project. We stood on my porch, eyes locked and arms crossed.  
>"Baby we're almost finished. Two more days max." I sighed angrily and shook my head at you.<br>"No. You said that two weeks ago. Why can't we leave it for one evening?"  
>That was one problem you had. Once you got an idea you had to see it through. You couldn't stop midway. It was a law with you. You walked towards me but I turned away. I wasn't going to work on that bench again. I was bored with it.<br>"You go and work on that bench" I began, "and you won't have a boyfriend anymore." I went to go inside and then I heard you begin to sob. The sound broke my heart. I turned back to you and sighed once more.  
>"Baby…" I began but you shook your head. You held my hand tight and didn't let go.<br>"You're right" you whispered after a couple of minutes of crying. "We have neglected our friends." I pulled you into my arms and held you close. You placed your ear to my chest and listened to my heartbeat. We stood like that for the longest time. I placed my hand under your chin and tipped your face up to mine.  
>"What are you scared of?" I asked softly. I knew every emotion you felt, when you felt them. And I knew, holding you that fear had taken over you. You looked into my eyes, yours shining with tears.<br>"They're going to judge us." I instantly knew what you were talking about. We hadn't told any of our friends that we were seeing one another let alone that we were gay. Your relationship with Bert had been in secret and that's what tore you two apart. I kissed your forehead ever so softly and pulled you down onto the steps of my porch.  
>"They won't care. And besides, all that matters baby is our love for one another. If we don't have each other what else do we have?" You looked at me and gave a small, watery smile.<p>

That night we headed out to the movies, deciding we'd tell the gang before the movie. You sat in the passenger seat of my old, beat up car silent and shaking. I grabbed your hand and gave you a reassuring smile. Upon reaching the parking lot we saw our friends standing around in a circle and my stomach did a back flip. The only person we were truly nervous of telling was Bert. He had been giving us evil looks in the halls of the school since your break-up with him and we didn't know how he'd take this. We reached the circle and Ray patted me on the back. I looked around and sighed. It was now or never. I cleared my throat and spoke up over the chatter.  
>"Guys, Gerard and I have something to tell you all." Silence fell and I took your hand, squeezing it tight.<br>"We're dating and we've been dating for nearly three months now." Everyone was silent for a moment and then Naomi announced  
>"All right lads. Twenty dollars from all of you. Fork it over." We gave her a quizzical look and she smiled at us.<br>"We all knew you two were dating. You made it kind of obvious. So we made a bet to see how long it'd take for you to tell all of us."  
>After that we enjoyed the rest of the night. You had calmed down a lot and during the advertisements in the movie we got in a few quick kisses. You became engrossed in the movie and I watched you, feeling nothing but love.<p>

A week later we sat on the finished bench. We sat in silence, not feeling the need to say anything. From my pocket I retrieved a battered box of cigarettes and lit one up. You looked at me and smiled. "You're so cute when you smoke" you said and took the smoke from my hand. I watched you smoke and blow rings, a talent which I had yet to learn and knew there and then that I wanted to tell you how I felt. If I didn't do it then, I probably never would. I sat up straight and turned you to face me. Your eyes searched my face for some indication of what I was about to do. A small frown crossed your face and you began shaking your head.  
>"Please don't do this" you began. I pressed my lips to yours, hoping it'd reassure you I wasn't about to break up with you.<br>"It's not that baby" I said and continued. "You know I care for you and would never want to hurt you. Well what I wanted to say is that I love you." You looked at me confused for a moment and then you suddenly understood what I was saying. A smile broke out on your face and you kissed me. It was a long kiss full of passion and love.  
>"I love you too" you whispered and kissed me again.<p>

About a month later you were staying at my house. Our parents were going out to the opera and Mikey was staying at another friend's house and you didn't want to be left alone. We both knew this was going to be the night that we'd do it for the first time. Since saying I love you to one another we grew more and more serious and closer than ever. It was getting to the stage where we couldn't be apart for more than a couple of hours. We told our parents and they accepted it. They were surprised at first but when they saw how much we really did love one another they couldn't argue. We reminded them of themselves when they were younger.

I heard you knock on my door and ran down the stairs two at time. You stood in the frame of the door with a cheesy grin on your face.  
>"Mum and dad gave me 'the talk' and it was the single most embarrassing moment of my life." I laughed and shook my head.<br>"I thought the single most embarrassing moment of your life was when you peed yourself during the nativity when you were like six." You looked at me and sighed.  
>"You know we went almost ten years without mentioning that." I giggled and kissed you. Taking your hand I led you up the stairs to my bedroom. We began watching a movie and kept stealing glances at one another. Within ten minutes of the film we were kissing and our hands roamed all over one anothers bodies. We were learning each other's bodies, making a mental map of everything. I began to open your shirt buttons but paused to look at you. I needed to make sure this was ok with you. As if reading my mind you gave me a smile and a small nod and I continued at your shirt. As I opened each button I kissed your chest where the skin became exposed. As soon as I got your shirt off I locked my lips to yours once again and we shared a long, hot, steamy kiss filled with passion and lust. You tugged at my shirt and I lifted my arms to allow you to pull it off. Your lips ghosted my neck and you began to undo my belt. You smiled at me, making sure what you were about to do next was ok. I nodded and the second your lips touched my hard member I moaned in pleasure. You took my length and ran your tongue up and down it. It was the most amazing feeling ever. After a minute I tugged on your hair and you looked up at me, gasping for breath. I pulled you up and kissed you softly. From on the ground where your jeans lay you pulled out a condom. I took it from you and slid it onto your erection. You gasped at my touch. You pulled my legs around your neck and pushed into me. "Baby I need you to relax" you whispered. Slowly you began thrusting. For a moment I could feel nothing but pain tearing me apart and then you hit that spot inside me and I arched off the bed in pleasure. You thrust harder and faster. I screamed your name and you took my hard length and pumped as quickly as you could. I came into your hand and it only made you go faster. After a minute your thrusts began to slow and then you pulled out of me and collapsed onto my chest. You were panting but smiling. Wrapping my arms around you I planted a kiss on your forehead. We said nothing but then your phone rang. You looked up at me and sighed. Grabbing your phone from the bed side locker you slowly traced small circles on my exposed chest. You said very little to the caller but your expression grew grimmer with each second. You said a quiet ok and hung up. You turned to face me and I saw the tears threatening to spill.<br>"We have to go to the hospital. There's been an accident."

I don't remember the drive to the hospital. It was almost like we had teleported from the bedroom to the hospital in a matter of minutes. Upon reaching the emergency room we were met with a grim looking doctor. He introduced himself and led us to a curtained off section of the ward. Behind the curtains and on four beds were our parents. I looked to you and you looked right back at me. You fell to the floor in tears. I got down and pulled you into my arms. We kneeled on the floor, holding onto one another for what felt like hours. I stood up and picked you up. You looked at our parents and then went over and kissed each of them on the forehead and whispered "I love you" to each of them. I followed suit and then we left. We walked out to reception to our waiting, grieving families. We spent that night in the hospital. We slept on uncomfortable plastic chairs but held onto one another for the whole night. It was almost like if we let go of one another we'd be afraid that we'd lose each other aswel as our parents.

A couple of days later we sat in the front pew of one of the many churches dotted around New Jersey. We looked at the caskets of our parents and both had silent tears running down our cheeks. Every so often throughout the ceremony you'd squeeze my hand and I'd squeeze back. As the ceremony ended you whispered to me.  
>"We still have each other" I could hear the pain in your voice.<p>

That night there was a huge storm. Trees were uprooted and power lines shook. The electricity in my house flickered and you were as restless as the weather. You paced back and forth biting your nails. And then we heard it. From the kitchen there came a lot of yelling and a lot of arguing. Mikey walked in and sat on the bean bag chair that occupied the corner of my room.  
>"They're arguing about what to do with us" he said in a sombre voice. You and I headed downstairs and stood beside the kitchen door listening to our families argue what they thought was best for us. You looked to me with fear in your eyes and I wrapped my arms around your shoulders so that your back was pressed to my chest and whispered<br>"I won't let them take me from you. I promise." And I meant it. We needed each other more than ever now. For an hour we stood at the door. Ideas were thrown left, right and centre and then the idea of boarding school came up. At that you burst into the room and yelled louder than anyone else "FRANK, MIKEY AND I ARE NOT GOING TO BOARDING SCHOOL! WE'RE STAYING HERE! THIS IS WHERE WE BELONG!" You ran out of the room, fresh hot tears fell. You stomped up the stairs and the bathroom door slamming could be heard. I then heard the lock click. I turned to my family  
>"Boarding school is the worst idea possible. We need to be in familiar surroundings and around those we love. Please take Gerard and me into consideration. I love him and he loves me. He needs me." I walked out of the kitchen and went to find you. No doubt you needed some reassurance and some comfort after your little explosion. I knocked on the bathroom door and said to the wood<br>"Baby it's me. Can I come in?" I stood for a moment and the door opened a crack. I pushed it open and saw the bathroom had been pulled apart. You sat on the side of the bath with blood running down your knuckles. Tears silently slid down your cheeks. Panic overwhelmed me for a moment and then I saw the smashed up mirror. I knelt down in front of you and began to clean up the mess. I wiped the blood and wrapped your hand in a bandage. Kissing it I placed my hand on your cheek and using my thumb wiped away your tears. You looked at me, searching for something. Searching for an escape, a way out of the situation. I could only kiss you and hold you close. I ran my fingers through your hair. You got up and headed to the bedroom. With a sigh you lay down and closed your eyes. I lay down beside you and pulled you close to me. In little more than a whisper I sang the lyrics to one of our favourite songs and I slowly felt you drift off to sleep. I watched you for a long time afterwards. You looked so peaceful. Your chest was rising and falling in a slow regular beat and your eyes fluttered every so often. You were dreaming and I wondered if you were dreaming of our parents or of me. Midway through my thoughts I too dozed off.

The weeks after the funeral are a blur to me. My aunt and your uncle moved into our houses and kept us in the same school. They saw that the regular, familiar surroundings were the best for us. We slowly picked up the pieces of our lives and settled back into our normal routine.

Shortly after Christmas I got a strange phone call. All was silent on the other end for a couple of moments and then a raspy voice said  
>"You should watch out." Figuring it was a wrong number I thought nothing of it. January passed quickly and in rolled February. With February came an unusual cold snap for New Jersey. The city, over night became blanketed in snow and all the lakes froze.<p>

Valentine's Day was the coldest day recorded in the cold snap. Temperatures drop to twelve degrees below freezing. But that didn't put a damper on your plans. Valentine's night you called over to my house wrapped in your heavy jacket and red scarf. You smiled when I answered the door.  
>"Get your coat baby. We're going for a walk."<br>Grabbing my winter gear, I took your hand and as we walked we talked and laughed. I watched as your eyes were once again coloured with laughter and love and warmth that I felt everytime you held my hand or kissed me or even just looked at me. We reached the edge of the forest and you stopped walking. From your pocket you produced a blindfold and wrapped it around my eyes. I giggled and groped the empty air for your hand or shoulder. You laced your heavily gloved fingers with mine and led me through the forest. In an attempt to stay calm I counted your footsteps. After what felt like an eternity you stopped walking. You removed my blindfold and I was met by one of the most beautiful sights ever.

The lake was frozen over and covered in what must have been a thousand candles. Lights hung from the surrounding trees and candles sat along the ground, lighting the way toward a blanket beside a camp fire. The blanket was covered in rose petals and even more candles. From somewhere within the trees I heard music playing. It was soft, slow moving piano music. You took me in your arms and began to dance. Adjusting myself so that my arms were around your neck I moved with you. We swayed from side to side and smiled at one another.  
>"Happy Valentine's day baby" you whispered. You kissed me and it was the most heart stopping, love filled kiss we had ever shared.<p>

That night we lay on the blanket and wrapped in five more and looked up at the stars. You pointed out different stars and made up constellations. You pointed to two stars and said that they were the hare and the turtle. That they had fallen in love with one another but were torn apart when the hare was shot by a group of hunters. I giggled at the story and you sat up and looked down at me.  
>"That's not a joke" you whispered, laughter lacing your tone and a smile lighting up your face. I don't know how long you looked down at me and I looked at you but it was nice. We could have conversations with just our eyes and yours told the most amazing, most heartbreaking, most loving story there was. We kissed for hours and I eventually dozed off mid kiss. I don't know what you did while you were awake but I imagine that you brushed the hair from my face, maybe rested your hand on my cheek.<p>

The next morning we sat woke up just as dawn was breaking. It was another beautiful sight and an amazing moment. I'm glad I got to share it with you. You wrapped your arms around me in attempt to keep us both warm. As the sun rose I heard a noise from within the forest and panic began to take over. You felt my body stiffen and gave me a quizzical look. I told you my fears and you kissed me.  
>"It's probably just an animal baby" you said quietly. You held me tighter and then I heard the most haunting sound ever. It echoed throughout the forest and caused the birds to flee in fright. I gripped you tighter and waited for the pain to overcome me. But instead you slumped forward and I felt the warm blood run down my hands. You had been shot in the back. I grabbed my phone and called the emergency services. I quickly explained everything and before hanging up urged them to hurry. I pulled you as close to me as was possible. You shook violently and I held back my tears. I wasn't going to let you see me panic.<br>"Just stay awake baby. Stay awake" I whispered over and over again. One of your hands gripped tightly onto mine and you looked up and smiled at me.  
>"You look like an angel Frankie. I'm so happy I had one last night with you" you said, your voice sounded so weak. I shook my head<br>"Don't speak like that. Don't you dare speak like that. You're going to make it." Your shaking began to cease although your grip on my hand was still tight. In my head I was panicking. Where were the emergency services? They should have been here by now. I looked down at you and did the first thing that came to mind. I kissed you so softly, almost as if I wasn't kissing you at all. You kissed me back and then your life left you.

Frank got out of bed unable to sleep. He looked at the time and then sighed. He pulled on his clothes and headed out the door. It was still dark. Sighing once more he started to walk. Unsure of where he was going, he followed his legs. They led him into the forest and to the lake. Unlike the year before it wasn't frozen over. But his heart was. He walked over to the bench and sat down on his side. He turned to the space beside him and half smiled to himself  
>"I'm guessing this was your idea." He said to the air and gave a soft chuckle. From his pocket he pulled two things. A pocket knife and a couple of sheets of paper. He held them up to the empty space and began talking once more<br>"The whole story of you and I. I wrote it all down. I hope you like it." Then Frank stood up and tore it into small pieces and allowed the wind to carry it out over the lake. Frank then walked back to the bench and took his seat once more.  
>"The day you took me here I counted your footsteps. Believe it or not but you only took twelve. Always seems longer. But everything has happened in twelves to us." Frank paused to take a breath and light up a cigarette. After a few drags, he continued<br>"As I said you took twelve steps. That's how many degrees below zero it was when you took me here. How many months it has taken me to return here and how many hours it took the police to figure it was Bert who shot you."  
>Frank went on to explain how it was Bert who had called him and how Bert was actually trying to kill Frank because according him, Frank was the reason Gerard left. And although that may have been true Frank would never forgive him for taking Gerard away. Kneeling down in front of the bench Frank began to carve on the back rest. After a few moments he stood up. He kissed his hand and placed it on Gerard's side of the bench.<br>"I'll see you next year baby" Frank whispered and walked off.

"Sit here and remember. I'll remember you."

**Hope you liked it. It's the first Frerard I ever wrote. Reviews would be nice. **


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